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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
- Well, you're a married man. - Yeah, I know. I made sure to tell her.
- Sure. - Elaine, what is it that you do?
Matthew! Hey! Hey!
- No. - Holy smokes!
- No. Please... - Is everything alright?
No, alright. The problem isn't sex.
I love you for free, Lainey.
I was watchin' you in there.
♪ I would beg ♪
- And that's called... - Kegeling.
Tequila makes me so chatty.
and she literally had one of the best natural bodies
Okay?
And I, uh, didn't. You know, I just, uh...
- I'm not one of your dates. - That is very true.
I did let someone put a protein bar up my ass once. Big deal.
A really, really large dose of fear.
Hey, Lainey!
♪ Lot of snags ♪
Let's go back to the hotel. I wanna do stuff to your body.
In a good way I think.
You, uh... You wanna watch porn?
And secondly, do not gaslight me with SAT words
Fucking maniac.
Well, hey... hey, how about we go on a date?
george i told ya not to play baseball and serve me the ball so it would smack me in the penis! boing good riddance faye you krinesse freak from michelle bridges adult carrot shrostops 78WBT yonkosnack!
- We need to be over. - I asked Emma to marry me.
♪ I know that sounds heavy ♪
Smoke drugs?
5, 6, 7, 8.
- Your neighbor? - No, I...
♪ Your heart ♪
Car seat? We already have a kid?
A tremendous amount of Malcolm Gladwellian logic jumps.
The kid's having a great game, you're embarrassing...
You know, unfortunately I don't sleep with men
She was vibin' me pretty hard in that meeting.
Jesus.
Well, you know, that's Dim Sum for you.
deserves better than that.
'cause he's angry all the time.
God, those are all bad.
Yep.
Come on. This is the third time.
That's all that's going on.
I'm proud of us. Nicely done.
Okay, so you just really go after it like that.
Unless someone signed you into the building. You are not a guest.
money in my decision making, so...
- Do not say her name. - Was a lot...
I will meet you there. I will be right there.
in the middle of Central Park.
- Yeah. - Be safe. You know what I mean.
ae ae
- How's your fake boyfriend? - Oh, my God!
♪ Everything's going down ♪
Does this story end with you doing something super racist?
- Awesome. - Amazing.
I mean, she kept bringing it up.
Thanks, Jake.
♪ With a lemon tree ♪
- Who are you? - I'm Jake.
This is my son, and he really liked dancing with you. Didn't you, buddy?
- We should probably... - Let's go fuck first.
And you said it the other day too.
- No! - What do you mean no?
♪ Fuck it baby I got you ♪
I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
It's kinda hard. I mean, look at you.
Yeah. Right. Time to settle down.
I guess...
And then she says...
Alright, now, next move, alright, you're gonna take
in 11B at Wein Dormitory?
Uh, no, no, we're good.
- Yeah, I told him earlier. - We all knew. You didn't know!
I wanna tell you something, look at me.
because of low self-esteem, or abuse or other gnarly shit.
- Anybody here named Paula? - Shh.
And now have stocks vesting until 2018.
[breathing heavily]
I love you! I'm gonna murder you while I love you.
Well, uh, are you... I mean, are you gonna go? What are you thinking?
You can use my pen if you'd like.
- What? - You're mad?
Goodbye, Mathew.
Ugh! This sucks!
- Please don't interrupt. - I would love to hear it.
Also...
Matthew Sobvechik? That guy had all the charm of a broken Etch a sketch.
- Alright. Let's go. Alright. - Okay.
♪ What you want ♪
As a result I have been able to stay faithful to you
the things she holds close to her heart
♪ But I am losing ♪
Okay, but you know what I mean, alright?
I don't know who that is.
I don't care if it's a woman or if it's somebody else
I know this guy from somewhere.
She nice to you?
and talking to boring people all night.
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Nothing. Nada.
He's devastatingly handsome?
...for each other and ourselves, yes I agree.
Oh. Your name is Elaine?
His name's Chris Smith?
when he was at work and said, Grab some condoms and meet me
I'm... I didn't do anything wrong here.
Here we go. Why did you take it from him?
Me neither.
that a straight dude had to tell you all that.
Nothing's wrong with you. Are you kidding me?
Yeah, it's like... it's like Ted Bundy, you know.
was with Lainey but it really turned you around
- That's not true. - What?
- He will. You may. - Good.
- A man of the law. - Yeah.
- Go. - Bye.
But I can't say that, because that's, like, mean on top of mean.
- Thanks, man. Sorry. - Thank you.
You know, I thought we were joking around. So I was joking.
I hope it's okay that I said that, by the way.
- Then we'll meet them down there. - We gotta do it now, yeah.
might be a complete fucking dickhead
Ah, hi, you two. Are you guys married?
You're a whore!
They literally just got back together.
- Hello! - Hi!
No shit? Wow! That's great.
Remember? We're okay.
- Here we go. - I gotta go. I just gonna go outside for a...
Oh, thank you. Yeah. Our restaurant?
...Elaine, I wish I could have known you
- No, but are you... - You're happy.
- Go to noodlesalad.org... - Now, I feel like you're just trying to find problems.
...a vagina when I said that.
Look, she's my best friend and I would say
That's true.
I waited until my wedding night.
The problem is Captain Amazing
- What? - There's not even music.
Oh, golly...