HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
DISCOVER
MEMES
EMOJI
More
CREATE STORIES
DAILY
DISCOVER
PHRASES
NUDGE CLIPS
CONTENT REQUEST
LOGIN
HOT
APP
STORIES
QUIZZES
MEMES
EMOJI
STORY
DAILY
PHRASES
DISCOVER
NUDGE CLIPS
REQUEST CONTENT
×
Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Nineteen months I've been straight.
All Day, Every Day
Thank you
- Yeah. - Great. I could use some.
- Okay, sweetheart. Okay. - It's okay, Warren. It's okay. Here you go.
You asked me to follow around your girl and I did.
Yeah. I know. I do. In fact, you know...
Kevin's Ring capture
When you're looking at Onboarding Try to visualize the program, as a WHOLe
Tucker.
My friend says she's a fox. A surgeon fox.
When people ask me about my con workers
No No No, not $3, Busta. $4! Nobody makes any money with $3!
Hey, buddy. Come here. I think I know where your ball is.
I don't know. Boredom?
Let her go, let her go. Let her go
Holy shit.
I thought so…
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY SHE STILL WANTS TO VOTE FOR tRUMP
Yeah. Since...
Listen, you can't touch his ears unless he trusts you. I'm sorry.
Except for the rash thing's still there, right?
Sorry.
And where would you and your beer-bellied architect be going to?
I mean. I didn't know anything about the guy. I hardly know him.
Unless. Of course, somebody comes up with 6 Minute Abs.
Thank you.
It was not a big deal at all.
- You know him? - He's my brother.
Yeah. No problem. I've been driving for like 15 hours straight...
More cleaning.
Jerry discussing his teachers
Thank you
Now. What exactly are we looking at here?
It's coming from you always skipping out on your tab.
Thank you !
Hey, Magda. why don't you help me in the kitchen?
To find her, follow her around. She won't know anything.
I don't know.
- Oh. For crying out... - No, Dad. Just give him a minute.
What about Brett Fav... ruh?
You know, maybe you should just. Like, move down here and marry me.
hey dipshit! answer me, will ya?
Being on the rig...
Sully. It's me. Healy. What's going on over there?
It's a bunion. It'll heal.
How the hell did you get the zipper all the way to the top?
Okay. Norm.
You had your window, guys. You blew it.
- The museum? - Yeah.
What did I tell you the first time we met?
..........
Banana, banana.
He's a nice guy. Huh?
Your friend Tucker stopped by.
25% tip jar
Come on.
Yeah. I'd like to bounce around for a while and do some traveling.
I'd say the mountain is about a deuce, deuce and a half. Not bad.
- Please. Move. This is serious. People. - He was masturbating.
Wait. Wait.
You're getting crazy now. Why would I cross the line?
You're gonna fry.
Thank you
Luigi, if you love them so much, please....be our guest
No, listen, I'd really... I'd like to.
Those goofy bastards are just about the best thing I've got going in this crazy world.
Baby.
At 16, he committed his first murder.
About 10 times.
My hobby is my passion
Car clean? Plenty of gas?
...are you nervous?
Besides. She's probably married with a couple of kids by now. Girls like Mary...
Come on. Tell her the truth. Pizza boy.
.. to get a fizzy bubbly, and pray I don’t roll a wheel over a land mine.
No
This is my house. Here.
So I pulled off the road and I just sort of stopped in this...
So when you say killer. You mean...
Seven, man, that's the number.
Good. He'll be fine. Mary, you're being overprotective.
saren
Don't worry. She's a dental hygienist. She'll know what to do.
Yo boi Blake "Choppers"
What was Toobin doing
The problem is. we found your friend in the car.
- Oh. It's a pleasure to meet you. Patrick. - Same here.
...Dom tells me you're looking for some lady friend you knew back at school.
Broken back? How'd you do that?
"Mary. Grow up. You have so much in common with this guy.
- Franks and beans. Franks and beans. - Warren, quiet.
- Ted. - He was masturbating.
You've heard of mail-order brides, haven't you?
- Yeah. - Those guys back in Boston?
What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
- How many are we talking here? - Hitchhikers? My whole life?
Well I said "if"
- Hey, wait your turn. - Sorry. I didn't get a...
But there's something about Mary That they don't know
Okay. Well. Here's the catch.
...go out to dinner? You know, catch up on old times?
H
I'm a pizza-delivery boy.
Think about it. You walk into a video store. see 8 Minute Abs sitting there...
About 10 times
Oh, no.
She moved to our little Rhode Island town from Minnesota two years earlier.
No, no, no. We already... We got...
Would you like a cup of tea or something?
- Come on. You gotta hear this. - What?
it was being a cuntrag so i threw it in the woods
No, no. Sorry, man. Haven't seen it.
Twice last week!
Yeah. Remember, I have two. Mary.
No. No. Ted. The bad news I got is about our friend Healy.
No, no, she's never been. That's the good news.
That's very funny.
I was just condemning Hamas too
He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater. He's a good shit...
all i got are the damn nepalese coins
We're dicks.
thank you...
If you let me talk to you for one second outside of the truck.
what is this
Are you?
That's from A to B.
Puffy! Puffy! Puffy!
But I want somebody with freedom in their job, you know?
I work with retards
- Forget it. - What?
Look. Tucker, thank you. I really appreciate you looking out for me.
What the hell is Brett Favre doing here?
- Cool. See you. - Bye.
Sumo Culture They pay by the pound.
how the hell did you get the beans above the frank?
Stress... You ever have a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?
- I can go to the prom, deal with it later. - Son. Relax.
I'm just having a little fun with the guy. It's prom night.
I don't know. It looks like... l think it's a little bit of both.
- Oh. Come on. - Mom.
No. You know what? I don't need any. Really.
Drink bleach
- I feel like a dog. - Don't worry about it. It was fun.
I'm not going anywhere.
When people ask how work is….
For instance. Do you know the guy in the green house down the street?
Goodbye.
About 10 times
- Woogie? - Ted and I had one date.
Taff? Roller Pig!?!?
Well, once.
You know, in Nepal. the villagers there called me kin ton ti...
Cheating on his wife.
F*CK!
What does a insulation foreman do?
You ever had a whitehead on your eyeball, Mary?
Twice last year.
I did it because I never stopped thinking about you.
I work with retards.
Hey, I'm proud of you. How about a frosty to celebrate?
Yeah. If you want a designated driver...
...everything you need to know about that guy in about two seconds flat.
I’m in town to become the new Browns Head Coach, you dumb-ass.
He's got a forehead like a drive-in movie theater