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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
Taking their stuff, doing things to people they don't want done,
It's the 1300s. What am I meant to write about?
If the dog dies, it's bad, but it's not... I mean, don't do it on purpose.
Come on.
Yeah.
Are you still lonely? Have you found someone yet?
I'm so scared, Mark.
You're early.
until one day, a great writer by the name of Mark Bellison
Well, you're stupid.
(SOBS)
We'll have two beers, and we'll take them over there at the roulette table.
(Inaudible)
Mark: Today, I stumbled upon something that no man has ever stumbled on before.
if you do bad things, you won't get to go to this great place when you die.
Oh, then go right in.
What?
Because I love you.
Well, I'm not gonna do it now because you're in.
I love you, Mark.
Tell them it's for kids.
but also the thought of sleeping with you sickens me.
I'll have the fish tacos 'cause it's what I had last time I was here.
Can I get a discount on a ten-speed?
-Hi. -Are you here to abandon an elderly person?
They're saying you know something different about what happens after you die.
but it won't affect what happens to you after you die.
that their genetic match-up will be most likely to produce favourable offspring
You're getting paid for it, so let's take the message in case I don't get...
Mark, how's it going?
Frank.
I'm gonna get a snack. Do you want a snack?
Did you want large bills or small?
I think she's probably checking on the date. It won't take long.
You haven't lost yet, man.
-Huh? -... if you slept with me on the first date.
I mean, you might lose your job if the boss doesn't like it,
Oh, and Shelley thinks you're an overweight homosexual.
It doesn't. O u r kids would be little fat things with snub noses.
Gervais: So if you're a chubby, little loser like this guy, for example,
I had a better time than I thought I'd have.
Fine.
In Rome, Italy, they wait. In New York City, they wait.
and they shouldn't expect their calls returned,
Mark: He spent the last years of his life in jail.
BOB: (ON RADIO) Thanks for that, Jim. Next up, Mark Bellison.
just because you come from a more privileged family
Anna: Sorry.
But, you know, it's more than that.
No, I came to say good bye to you,
Not only am I the head writer of the coveted first century,
You are so much more than just short and fat.
You're almost definitely getting fired.
Tell me something about your family. I don't know that much about you.
Don't blow this.
Well, that's fine. They'll leave their mansion. They'll come and live with you, won't they?
What are you doing here?
Well, I was gonna rob your house.
It's Monday at noon. You're not supposed to be at home now.
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
It says here that you only have $300 in your account,
We have to have sex right now!
Hey, you're Mark Bellison.
You did admit yourself that, you know, we got on.
-Yeah. -ASSISTANT: Okay.
I don't have a lot of hope for you either, but I wish you good luck.
The world's gonna end unless we have sex right now!
Ne çirkin bebek
Oh, I... I want to date her... I want a second date.
-Brad Kessler. -Brad Kessler?
-Anna. -You are so handsome.
Okay. Let's try that.
I'm a pi rate.
What else would you do? If you could do anything.
She's a prize on your arm. And your kids will be, too.
I've finished.
but sometimes you spend your day in bed, eating and crying.
Oh, yeah. That's pretty much off the chart. You're drunk.
Does he have my genetics? My confidence? My charisma?
I just don't want to go in there today. I just don't, you know?
I just need to get... I know, I'm sorry. Pardon me. Pardon me, please.
when he tells the world's first lie.
(Exclaiming GLEEFULLY)
MAN: (ON TV)...first used roughly 4,000 years ago on Celtic chariots,
I'm gonna send that bottle back.
That's why I came over here, actually. I wanted to give you this invitation.
I'd get all the money.
and successful and famous changed your genetics,
Did you come to beg for your job back?
MALE NARRATOR.....proudly presents The Industrial Revolution.
Where will you go?
based on your looks, your financial situation and your position in life,
If you could make the world the way you wanted it to be,
Mum, listen to me.
Do we have time to get to a motel, or do we need to do it right here?
You know what I think of him. I think he is the world's biggest douche bag.
No. Sorry, can we just meet up? It'd be best.
He's also taller.
That doesn't sound like a happy life. That sounds like a long, miserable one.
Come on, let's up the stakes a little bit. Come on.
And I lean over and just turn it off.
-Why can't we be together, then? -Because of the whole genetics thing.
(Door Closes)
I mean, I don't think you have the choice to keep it in.