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Tasty Mystery Baskets of Clips
[Coughs]
so starting tomorrow we're starting a new format,
I'm your boss. I'm your boss.
A little quality time.
# I can't get no relief #
all searching for a piece of cheese.
I guess you could say I was a little nervous
I don't want to talk about it, Robin.
Honey, Gloria. Gloria, honey.
Really? My parents said we're moving
She... She had a car accident.
You can't trust him.
Oh. Can you believe it?
is getting closer.
I was wondering if you'd like to go out Friday night.
# She was the best damn woman that I've ever seen #
Once he wanted me to approve a contest
But at $250 a week, I could marry Alison,
The audience isn't gonna be there.
Lennon's killer, Mark David Chapman...
Uh, Mr. Erlick, if I may?
What are you talking about?
I'm willing to believe you didn't sleep with that girl.
This is Howard's first job interview.
How you doing?
Down the aisle on your right.
[Applause]
All right, hold on a second.
Hey, what's this?
OK, I'm right outside Pig Vomit's office.
Thank you.
It gives me great pleasure now
He's better when he's toned down.
and you sure as fuck
You know, I have to tell you...
I really need your help.
How's things? What's that? You're gonna do what?
has been very bitchy around here lately,
the comedically ironic aspect of my new superhero character?
if I had Robin sitting there.
Howard: Come on, do it.
but we've got some projections.
I mean, you're smart, you're sexy.
That's about 13 inches,
You came late today. I don't need you. You're fired.
Can I show you?
Hey, you got a permit?
You know, most of these people are Satan-worshipping junkies.
I mean, things really started to take off.
You OK?
I'm somebody's father.
What's humiliating?
The only sport my father liked was yelling.
Fartman!
Howard Stern can kiss my ass in hell!
What am I doing?
You know what we're gonna do to solve your problem?
Shut up. Shut up.
and we got caught in the rain.
Listen, what you got to do is,
But I just said pussy.
Wimpy Voice: Westchester 107, WRNW 107.
who had the maturity level of a 3-year-old, right?
Welcome to the show.
- Oh! - Yeah, I really did.
It's like... It's the dream, the Big Apple.
Do women get horny?
Kenny is the hottest young programmer in New York City.
"Stern, those are little kids. That counts as one person."
# Yet it sucks bein' me #
Kenny, that's not fair.
No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no.
I am? I mean, I am.
why you had to shut down the show?
and I started to realize that what Skinner says is true...
And I want you to sort of straddle the speaker.
'cause now my wife doesn't even trust me anymore,
Robin: Take your bows.
I listen to radio. I like show.
Explain it to me.
and he's no bigger than the size of an aspirin.
Hi. I was just wondering if you...
And you can play frisbee with the guys.
Same here.
Now, if you'll excuse us, we'd like to talk to Robin alone for a second.
Howard exaggerates.
I'm proud of you, and I want you to do it.
How about that? Howard Stern, huh?
You are really perfect.
A fully integrated educational institution,
I want to thank Brittany Fairchild
I guess.
[Reggae Music Plays]
Unfortunately, the drugs really made me paranoid.
Sorry.
Howard goes to Hartford at W...
I've gotta stay on the air, Robin.
Roosevelt High School... beautiful.
Howard, you're graduating from high school this year.
Come on. You got to move.
It was a boy, yes. He had a little tiny penis.
- Oh, boy. - Thank you.
I have to tell my parents.
and before long, I got to interview
The official ratings don't come out until tomorrow,
someone who has supported me,
I've been dreaming of this day forever.
Is this safe?
They're very, you know, she's getting older.
You are the motherfucking Antichrist!
Honey, Gloria. Gloria, honey.
So I masturbated a lot... 2-time-a-day habit.
I was sort of living with Alison
Fred, I'm serious. I'm not gonna forget ya.
I was hoping I'd find you here.
[Hums]
I am Fartman. Fartman rules.
Everyone's been so nice. It's a good feeling.
I can't believe the stories he makes up.
Yes. Um... I once did some summer stock.
See this?
and I'm just so glad you're back.
And dogs.
fuck, shit, cunt, cock, and pussy."
Hello.
when I give you a good, hard butt-whipping.
Whatever it is, it would last 3 seconds.
You're fired, all of you. Get out.
Ohh! Oh...
but you've got to learn to do what Imus does.
[Lisping] Willkommen. Bienvenue.
Would you believe 80%% % of my listings are from divorces?
You should be making some kind of plan for your future.
so I'm pretty sure everything was delivered in one shot.
Come on, you guys. Right up here looks perfect.
[Needle Scratches Record]
Yeah. He's backed up. Isn't he backed up, Ross?
He took the show right off the air.
I'm pregnant.
[Voice Lilting] W N BC.
If I make less money, we wouldn't even be able to afford this apartment.
While I'm interviewing her,
It seems the competition has a disc jockey
Yeah, me. Program director.
We've done it a lot on the show.
I thought I was the Beatles on Ed Sullivan or something.
Quiet.
[Cheering]
Yeah. I get that all the time.
We are gonna dominate the marketplace, which I lo...
In fact, I feel sorry for NBC,
"I want to see what he'll say next."
I'm gonna knock on his door.
Oh, look at this, Robin. This is unbelievable.
You goddamn motherfuckers.
How you doing? You're Fred.
And now I want to introduce to you...
Free drinks.
Howie Jr., no bigger than the size of an aspirin.
It's not that! It's not that!
What?
Howard.
Then leave your underwear on.
but I did it, and everyone bought into it.
So this is my dad Ben Stern.
# I'll take you there #
And I'm going to shoot it on Saturday.
Are these yours?